凌晨，思念。

星期天，失眠。夜，凌晨一点多钟。心情起伏不定：寂寞，烦闷，着迷，自言自语。想谁呢？是人，是物？说不清。可能是刚才人多吧，心情因此变得无法平静。空，是最好的朋友；时时刻刻的默默陪伴。我仓促的离去，可能会对我社交生活没多大好处。离开，很奇妙的带给我说不清的平静。

水，是我一位要好的友人。面对他是种是能不由自主的立刻静下来，恢复真正的自我。

好想在一片星空之下慢慢的睡去，在水池旁听听水的歌声。顿时之间，一切都不重要了。

Quakes, Winds, Tsunami.

Was just glancing through the news on Yahoo to update myself about the latest happenings (Dear ST has decided to charge for their interactive services). As I read through, I can't help but feel that the amount of disasters that struck recently has seemingly increased... Maybe its psychological (their frequency, I'm keeping myself updated more frequently etc). I know about the annual typhoons that strikes Taiwan and other coastal cities in East Asia but lately the death tolls and the frequency is rather amazing. First we have the tsumami (really scary shit, for something with an epicenter near Sumatra, its waves are able to drown people in South Asia its a scary thought. If we weren't shielded, I don't think anyone would have survived here), then we have earthquakes elsewhere in the earthquake prone regions around the Belt of Fire, followed by a series of tornadoes/typhoons/cyclones (depends on what you call it, hopefully it ends there, Volcanoes please don't join the action). World starting to go crazy? Hmm.. maybe not. I believe the geographers should have an answer to this, or at least at attempted answer. Haha.

Cheers.

计较
我个性太直不喜欢去掩饰
爱情之中你我都有独特的样子
我偶尔幼稚
你偶尔太固执
感情最近怎么回事
争吵变成沟通的方式
计较你爱得多爱得少
计较你让我哭让我笑
你若多给一个拥抱感觉就不会太快走掉
计较你对我坏对我好
计较你带我疯带我逃
爱的越久越不明了
谁对谁比较好
有什么我需要有什么我得不到
你要知道爱要让我看到

两个人都怕爱输给自私

Valid not only for relationships. 有时，不要太计较大家的生活都会容易过一些。

Ghostly encounter?

Any of you manage to catch The Maid? The one done by Kelvin Tong and i think Raintree pictures (almost all our films are done under Raintree pictures...). Anybody thought the film was disturbing? Ma was quite freaked out because of something that happen a couple of days ago...

Anybody had ghostly encounters before? Sometimes there are things you just can't explain but you're sure of yourself that it wasn't hallucination or you imagining things. Its ok if you don't see them around, but what if you can?

Two days ago, bro came home quite late (or early, depending on how you see it). Mum happened to be awake so she went to open the door for him. There was this girl that came back with him (at least according to ma). She started asking him why he brought a girl back at this time of the night. He said he came home alone.
Big question: Who was the girl she saw?

Thoughts

This week is finally over... I've waited for this week to come by ever since the mid-term holidays end... Marks the closure of one chapter and the start of the next. Have been taking it slow for the past three days or so and really enjoying the pace of things. A little too leisurely (esp in lieu of the stack that's growing behind me this very moment.)

Think there's something coo-coo about me. Started to nit-pick with my loved ones recently... Makes me wonder why we always take the people closes to us for granted. U knw you shouldn't be doing this but somehow I can't resist it.. (that little devil getting the better of me again.) Best part of it, I don't regret pissing them off a little at a time (haven't allow it to blow up thus far).

Listening to quite a few love songs lately. Finally found this one "婚礼的祝福" that I've seen as an MTV many many years ago... Perhaps what caught my attention was the image they were painting, reminds me of a wedding i attended the other time (nobody was that bitter then, if they were I wasn't aware.) Sometimes... ppl just don't end up with the one that they would have wanted to.
Other songs I'm listening to includes Fish Leong's (still can't get over the fact she called herself Fish) "丝路", "玫瑰眼泪", "眼泪成诗", "计较", "旧爱还是最美", "未知数" etc.
Looks like an entire series of love songs. Ha.

我多么羡慕你
有时候风太急
禁不住挂念起你
这一刻离我遥远飞行
有时候夜太静拦不住回忆的心
于是泪
每个夜里如繁星
我多么羡慕你
总可以转身飞远远的
我的爱是你沉重行李
绊住你追新梦的决心
我多么想念你
当时间都失去了意义
穿越思念后等成信箱
让你需要的时候可以投递
告诉我沿途中想与我分享的心情

Ever felt this immense sense of alienation in this society? Its not as if there isn't any care or concern around but you still feel lost somehow... shrouded in this thick mist.. clouding your vision, your mind, your soul.

my thots

I want to muse here and I want to do it now.. But there's no time!!! WHY!!!! If this sounds like gibberish to you its probably because I'm doing this in a rush. 9.56pm... so much to do so little time.

1. need to go out with friends. Not being forced but i just want to do it. Essays, papers and all.. Stacking up one mth worth of readings but what the heck la. Soemtimes its just so difficult to find friends to go out with... everyone is bz n then u're all alone. Don't knw if you ppl ever feel this way -- lonely, tired, bored of work but simply having no time and no energy to do anything else except to totally numb yourself of any sentiments and continue to bury in that pile of shit. U sit there tired, hoping to get someone out just to sit there with you, keep you company and relax. Something so simple yet so hard to find.
2. I feel like a weakling. Everybody is stressed out but i'm the only one to fall so sick. Seems to be making the point that I'm not cut out for this, but i'm not going down without a fight! If i have to go down I'll go down fighting.
   Now Ma is starting to suggest maybe I should just get out in 3 yrs.

Ok got to go project mates screaming abt the project due on thurs... back again when nightmare over.

Blitzkreig test

Just had to add in this entry about what happened for my strategic thot test... I have delaying the test for 3 weeks because I keep falling ill whenever I had to do the makeup. Added a whole lot of trouble for my lecturer (an adjunct prof) who could only come to teach 4 hours each week. So this is an extract of what happen over a few hrs...

9.30am, Sunday
Me: I can't do the test on Monday as I have classes before lecture.

1.30pm, Sunday
Prof: How about anytime between 9 to noon?

11.30pm, Sunday
Me (over sms to Prof): Hi prof, 11 is fine. Where do i find you? Drop me a msg to confirm test time and location.

7.01am, Monday
Prof (over sms): Ok test at 11am, hist dept.

Feels almost like Blitzkreig all over again. How many hours notice did i get man?? Haha. ok la not as though i wanted it to drag but those were tense hours sia.. Woke up early just to see if he wanted me to do the test -_-".

Suay 到透顶

I had never had to do this in my entire campus life. Backlogging so badly and still had to reschedule tests and praying for dateline extensions. 为什么会把自己弄到这么落魄？Never had such a bad attack until today... I would be down until I get way better ... Either that or I'll soon be checking myself into a hospital. All this is starting to make me feel so lousy, asking for rescheduling of meetings, going around asking people for their lecture and tutorial notes, irritating my lecturers with my constant emails for a plea to reschedule the darn test (thus further prolonging my agony). I'm bugging everyone so unneccessarily..
For those out there who have been inconvenienced, my sincere apologies.

Things not going well back home either... Mi bro seems to be unusually upset.. don't know why that is so.. can't seem to find out their cos he's not willing to talk. Mum fell down the stairs yesterday and I'm rather worried about her seriously injuring her back. 祸不单行。

SOHO or working in cubicles?

Yet another day. Just to the doctor for a second time in a matter of two weeks. Run out of medication and my cough still haunts me. Its expensive to get sick in Singapore. A simple visit to the doctor normally takes about 10minutes (if you don't have to wait) and that's $28 a visit. Haiz... why didn't i study harder and make it to medicine school? LOL

Had people asking me for the second time in today what I wanna work as when I graduate. I've been thinking about it before but I'm still not too sure. What can you do with an Arts degree? Plenty and almost nothing at all simply because your skills are so general. Sometimes I think Arts graduates should develop more people skills on top of training their thinking; else its rather hard to sell yourself.

Then comes another point -- Home Office or working outside? Personally, I really like the idea of Home Office. The convenience with dealing with jobs in an environment of your choice. If going to work is like going to battle, what better place than to do it on terrain you are most familiar with?
The bid to develop SOHOs near the river did entice me towards the entire idea of home office. But does it mean I have to start up my own business? or can I work at the comfort of home while being an employee of a firm? What about the separation of home life from work life? There's a tendency for people to falter especially when playing a balancing act between this two. Kinda partly explains the reason why we have so many singles?
Drop a line if you are reading this about what your preference might be and just rant a bit more on it. ;-)

射雕英雄传

Just done with watching 射雕英雄传, its my second time catching it on tv and have already read the book once. Its the very first Chinese swordfighting novel that caught my attention and had me hooked onto works of 金庸 ever since. Think I still prefer the Hong Kong version I caught on TV couple of years back, the dubbing wasn't done really well for this one. Still remembered the days when I was first hooked on this.. its almost like putting yourself on cocaine; can't help but keep reading and reading and daydreaming until my teacher started asking me if I'm having serious problems at home. HAHA! (That's when I decided I had to snap out of it before it ruins my life.)

Come to think of it Guo Jing really has a lot of luck, was just telling my friend he must have been the God of Fortune reincarnated. Luck never seems to run out for his entire life and he stumbles through it when others who are alot smarter are struggling. 傻人有傻富. Heehee.

Maybe I should just get the entire novel and keep alongside with my 神雕侠侣. I need to find ways to protect that series I have before it starts crumbling. Its a first edition series and each book is about a few millimetres thick with thin yellowish pieces of paper serving as covers.
Kk.. gtg. Drop a line again another time.