my thots

I want to muse here and I want to do it now.. But there's no time!!! WHY!!!! If this sounds like gibberish to you its probably because I'm doing this in a rush. 9.56pm... so much to do so little time.

1. need to go out with friends. Not being forced but i just want to do it. Essays, papers and all.. Stacking up one mth worth of readings but what the heck la. Soemtimes its just so difficult to find friends to go out with... everyone is bz n then u're all alone. Don't knw if you ppl ever feel this way -- lonely, tired, bored of work but simply having no time and no energy to do anything else except to totally numb yourself of any sentiments and continue to bury in that pile of shit. U sit there tired, hoping to get someone out just to sit there with you, keep you company and relax. Something so simple yet so hard to find.
2. I feel like a weakling. Everybody is stressed out but i'm the only one to fall so sick. Seems to be making the point that I'm not cut out for this, but i'm not going down without a fight! If i have to go down I'll go down fighting.
   Now Ma is starting to suggest maybe I should just get out in 3 yrs.

Ok got to go project mates screaming abt the project due on thurs... back again when nightmare over.